


With the Time we Have

by Lingeringchaos, ZionKilse



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Also known as Bittermustard, Alternate Universe - Maniatale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Maniatale Papyrus (Undertale), Maniatale Sans (Undertale), Romantic Fluff, Swapfell Gaster - Freeform, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underfell Sans/Maniatale Sans - Freeform, Underfell W. D. Gaster, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, minor characters - Freeform, smut in later chapters, smut is the reason for the rating, very bad puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:14:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26202511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lingeringchaos/pseuds/Lingeringchaos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZionKilse/pseuds/ZionKilse
Summary: Red's got a crush on the skeleton who moved in across the street, so he does what any respectable skeleton with a crush would do; avoid speaking to him at all costs and peer at him from his window at length. A fluffy, cute, romantic story of very foolish skeletons who are inexplicably drawn to one another.
Relationships: Gaster/Gaster (Undertale), Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Stumbling for Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Edge has had enough of Red being a creep and Red learns he's gotta get a move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chaos: Heyo! Welcome to our new fic! This started out as a oneshot that Zi stole, held over their head, and took off running and cackling like the gremlin they are <3 Lots of fluff and skeleton shenanigans!
> 
> Notes;  
> Maniatale Sans - Salt  
> Maniatale Papyrus- Toffee  
> Underfell Sans - Red  
> Underfell Papyrus- Edge  
> Swapfell Sans - Razz  
> Swapfell Papyrus - Slim 
> 
> Who are Toffee and Salt? They hail from our own AU, a labor of love called Lunacy Reigns. Not to fret, you don't have to read that to understand what is going on, you can meet Red's crush with Red >:D
> 
> Zion: I hadn't intended to turn an rp into what this is now but-well here we are

Red was going to see him again today. The smallest 'him’ in the multiverse. Salt they called him. He looked like classic, except for the shocking hole in his face and the thousand yard stare. Salt and his brother had been assigned to the trailer across the street as part of the monster integration system the humans were running, they moved in last week and Red had his sockets on his smaller version.

Since the move in Red had not technically formally met them, but he had seen Salt everyday around dusk at Red's favorite spot by the old pond down the road and Red had done a lot of digging on his new neighbors, asking the others around their small community about their new residents.

Red hadn't introduced himself, or done anything really but stare from a distance and dig up information. He wasn't being creepy like his brother accused! He was just curious! And taking it slow. He didn't wanna scare Salt off! He seemed wild, skittish. Red would take it slow, it took awhile to get to hello, okay!?!

“We're going across the street and introducing ourselves to our new neighbors so you'll stop being a creepy stalker.” Edge announced, stepping outside the front door with a large cake pan of lasagna to welcome said new neighbors as Red stared at them from their front stairs.

“Boss, no.” Red pleaded, already sweating from the idea, turning to give his brother a desperate look.

Right now the new brothers were sitting outside under a tree for shade, they were talking and hadn't noticed Red watching as of yet.

“I won't hear it, Sans! All you do is stare at them from the front porch like some kind of small, bad mannered predator. Or worse, you follow the little Sans at a distance. It's weird. We are going over there and welcoming them to the neighborhood so you'll stop your incessant stalking!”

“I-it ain't stalking!” Red whined, more sweat beading on his brow.

“Then what were you doing?” He asked, already heading over.

“Boss wait! No, don't- fuck!” Red cursed reluctantly following his brother across the street to the new pair of brothers. Toffee spotted them first and waved, Salt looked up as they got closer doing a sort of half wave.

“Hello, it's nice to meet you!” Toffee greeted with a smile, Salt less so. He grunted quietly.

“Hey.” He mumbled, he didn't seem very enthused. Red could understand.

“...Hey.” Red grunted, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Don't mind my brother, he's rude. We wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.” Edge greeted. “I'm called Edge, and this is Red.” Salt looked at Red quietly while his brother talked to Edge.

“Thank you, we appreciate it, we are not used to living conditions such as these.” Toffee admitted. “It will take some getting used to.”

Edge nodded in understanding. “It was the same for us.” Edge said, glancing at his brother. Though some were adjusting better than others. Red was watching Salt quietly and oh so obviously.

“I've been told it's customary in less dangerous worlds to welcome new neighbors with food.” Edge said, offering the lasagna. 

Red gave Salt another quick glance, he didn't seem very interested in talking.

“What?” Salt asked looking at Red when he noticed he was looking at him.

“Oh, well thank you very much!” Toffee beamed accepting it. “Allow me to put this away and I'll be right back, would you both like a drink?” Toffee offered.

“Yes please.” Edge said.

“Stars yes, whiskey-”

Edge elbowed Red. “Not that kind of drink, you moron.”

Red grumbled and scowled. Salt raised a brow bone at the display but didn't say anything, Toffee shook his head.

“We don't keep alcohol I'm afraid.” He told them before going inside.

Edge gave a long suffering sigh at his brother and Red crossed his arms giving the taller a glare before glancing back to Salt.  _ Say somethin, start a conversation, be smooth. _

“So yer universe shitty too?” Red asked.  _ Abort! Abort! Anything but that you idiot! _

Salt blinked, well that was very random. “Uh...yeah.” He murmured.

Edge looked very much like he wanted to facepalm. “We're from Underfell. Still adjusting to the surface.” Edge decided to roll with the topic rather than watch Red flounder. “And apparently still learning social skills.” Edge added under his breath, Red scowled at Edge who smirked.

“Mm, ManiaTale.” Salt told them rubbing his face. “It's weird being on the surface again. Changed a lot.”

“You've seen it before?” Red asked curiously. “I hadn't… when I first saw it...sky was so big. I felt like we were gonna fall into it.”

“When we were kids anyways.” He shrugged slightly.

“Holy shit. That was like thousands of years ago!” Red said. Great. Now he'd called him old. A plus Red, five gold stars.

“That's what the humans said, yeah.” He replied, well aware he was an elder to many monsters.

Red was relieved he hadn't offended Salt, he didn't look old. He must be a boss monster, he wouldn't age unless he had children. Edge was watching them silently.

“We were both born underground.” Red explained. Born, created in a tube, same diff.

“Seems most of you were, ‘cept for us.” Salt mused. “Met some others too.”

“The Maniafells also were born on the surface.” Edge said, making a face. “But I suppose they would have the same origin as other mania variants.”

“Oh! I remember them! The Papyrus kicked yer ass!” Red said, brightening. Edge shot him a withering look. 

Salt snorted softly in amusement, shrugging. “I haven't met anyone from another mania.”

“They're assholes.” Edge said as the time Red said, “They're aight.”

“Uh huh, right.” Salt murmured, well he was an asshole too. “Good to know?”

“Our variants are disappointing and annoying.” Edge said as if offering condolences.

“We’re the best Fells.” Red agreed. Far better then the Swapfells, more forgiving and far less dramatic then the Dancefells, and less rabid than the Horrorfells.

“What about the surface is different?” Red asked Salt curiously, wondering what the surface was like when Salt had been a child.

“A lot of things, mostly human things. Cars, houses, all that junk.” He said sagging against the tree and rubbing his face; he looked tired. But not the kind sleep would fix.

Red hummed in thought before looking almost embarrassed. “What about the stars?” Red asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Did they look the same? We're they brighter in the past? Had any moved? Would Salt think he was a big nerd?

“They're the same, but they're always different cuz’ of rotation.” He told Red.

Red nodded some. He knew the stars didn't move so much as the Earth moved but it was amazing to know they overall were just as stunning years ago as they are now.

Toffee poked his head out of the door. “Edge could you help me with these drinks please?” He requested politely.

“Of course.” Edge smiled joining Toffee inside. Red glanced at Salt his soul flipping in dread now that they were alone.

“I, uh, got a telescope...if ya ever wanna see 'em sometime in high definition, heh.” Red offered with a shy smile. He  _ mostly _ used said telescope to look at stars and not to stalk cute skeletons! It'd only been the _ one _ time! Boss was never going to let him live it down though.

“That might be nice.” The other mused softly. Toffee sighed watching them through a window. 

“Your brother is very awkward.” He told Edge.

Edge sighed, facepalming for a second time; and to think he’d thought Rus was the bluntest Papyrus. “He wouldn't know social skills if they bit him on the coccyx.”

“What is his intent?” Toffee asked.

“What?” Edge blurted out, caught off guard.

“He follows him. I almost dusted him twice.” Toffee stated glancing at Edge. “What is his intent with my brother?”

Edge had never met a Papyrus who spoke of almost dusting someone so nonchalantly, besides himself of course. Edge sighed, squinting at the pair outside. 

“He's an idiot. He likes your brother. He has a crush.” Edge explained. “He's awkward, shy and-” _ creepy -  _ “Our world was rough. I know yours was too. But in Underfell you didn't make friends. They'd stab you in the back or be used as leverage against you. If you wanted to fuck someone you made an advance and you either got punched in the face or found yourself in for a good time. He doesn't know how to make a friend and this, sadly, is his best attempt.”

“It's a very bad one.” Toffee deadpanned. “But I suppose, if his intentions aren't ill, I'll allow it.”

Edge snorted, he appreciated Toffee's blunt honesty. “It is very bad. It's painful to watch.” Edge grumbled.

“If he does something stupid tell me and I'll handle it.” Edge didn't want Toffee dusting his brother because Red thought it'd be hilarious to try the 'ol’ hand buzzer trick’ on Salt. Edge could already tell that Toffee was just as protective of Salt as he was Red.

“I will, I don't want to dust your only family.” He told Edge.

Edge was used to dust threats, he wasn't used to the opposite. He looked taken aback. “I appreciate that.” Edge said glancing out the window and he cringed. Was Red showing Salt his sock collection!? 

“Oh my stars, no.” Edge rubbed his sockets with a groan. 

Salt just seemed to roll with it and Toffee sighed as he joined Edge, peering out the window. “It's okay, he's not much better. If at all.”

“Is it a Sans thing?” Edge wondered out loud as Salt pulled what appeared to be junk that looked too big for his pockets out.

“Seems that way.” He mumbled, shaking his head. “But I guess I can overlook his previous stalking if he doesn't do it anymore.”

Edge really hoped Red wouldn't do it anymore, no he'd make sure of it. “He was trying to work up the courage to say hello. I am certain that this meeting will fix that issue and he will stop behaving like a creep.”

“One would hope so. How much time should we give them?” He asked, he'd been watching the entire time.

“I'm not sure, I can't tell if they're getting along or floundering.” Edge sighed. Actually, Red was always floundering, it was his natural state of being since leaving the Underground, but he couldn't read Salt.

“Is there a difference for them?” Toffee asked.

Edge snorted. “Perhaps not.”

“Thought not. We'll give them a few more minutes alone.” Toffee shrugged.

Edge nodded in agreement, hopefully it would go well and Red wouldn't scare his crush off.

Salt didn't have a sock collection, just a lot of random junk. “So, why socks?” He asked Red.

Red wasn't about to mention his particular love of frilly socks but he could attest to the others at least. “Well it started with me losing a sock and ending up only having one to each pair and leaving 'em around the house. It really pissed off my bro so I started doing it on purpose? After that I guess I just carry em around with me if the opportunity to tease my bro arises.”

“That's weird but also funny.” Salt snickered in amusement.

“Heh, yeah. What about you? Like collecting things?” Red asked.

“Some things, mostly old medals.” Salt shrugged.

“They're neat.” Red said, his fingers gliding over one of the medals. Right before they were on Salt's fingers instead.

Red immediately flushed his namesake, his ruby eyelights shrinking to pinpricks. “S-sorry!” He said, pulling his hand back.

“Eh?” Salt blinked looking up at Red.

“N-nothin’.” Red said, still flushed.

“Uh, okay?” He rubbed the back of his vertebrae.

Edge and Toffee, still spying, sighed at their brothers’ interaction. “Salt is...oblivious…and bad at this too.” Toffee admitted.

“I'm worried my brother is going to be vulgar.” Edge admitted and he cringed as Red brightened and pulled out a rubber chicken, seemingly talking to Salt about pranks.

At least Red hadn't asked Salt to fuck. For the love of stars, Edge prayed Red wouldn't ask Salt to fuck. It seemed like Salt was laughing right now.

“Vulgar how?” Toffee frowned.

“He makes repulsive dirty jokes. And horrible puns both dirty and non dirty.” Edge said. “In Underfell If you wanted relations you mostly just asked to fuck and he wasn't shy about it. I really, really hope he doesn't say it to your brother.”

“We'll know if he does.” Toffee assured him. “He's uh...well, never had any kind of relationship.”

Edge looked at Toffee in surprise. “What- never!? But he’s-” _ old as shit _ \- “Been around for a long time.”

“He's never been interested in anyone. And I don't think he will at this point. Actually…” Toffee looked down, inhaling deeply. “He's...falling. They've, given him, four months...”

Edge winced and glanced out the window at Salt and Red. “I’m sorry…” He said softly.

“We've been to different places...he just, can't seem to adjust, his HOPE kept falling…” Toffee explained. “I wish I could help him.”

Edge frowned, he couldn’t imagine what he’d do if Red was falling. “It’s been hard for us to adjust to the surface too…maybe...going back underground?”

“That's not an option, he would just keep falling no matter where we went.” Toffee sighed rubbing at his sockets.

Edge winced. “There’s nothing that can be done?” 

“No, not that they could find. He's just. . . given up.” Toffee told Edge.

“I’m sorry.” Edge said softly, he’d been afraid more than once that he might lose his brother that way, especially when Red got into his heavy spells of depression.

“I'm just trying to make the last of his time as comfortable as I can.” Toffee murmured.

“I understand.” Edge said, poor Toffee. He couldn’t imagine watching his brother give up and slowly fall, it was the worst fate imaginable.

“But at least he won't be alone now.” He said looking at Red.

“Yeah.” Edge said softly, Red would be there to make things awkward the whole way.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to dump that on you…” Toffee sighed.

“It’s fine.” Edge said. “I’m glad you told me. I can tell my brother he doesn’t have time to be an idiot.”

Toffee grimaced. “Are you sure that's a good idea?”

“Well… would you rather I not tell him and he takes his time blundering around? It’d take him four months just to ask Salt out for coffee….” Edge sighed.

“I suppose you have a point…” Toffee agreed softly, handing Edge two glasses of lemonade, he held one of the same and one of some kind of sauce.

“What’s that?” Edge asked, nodding at the sauce. “Your brother drinks condiments too? Mine likes mustard.” Edge said, making a face.

“Yeah, hot sauce.” Toffee explained.

“Ahh.” Edge said with a nod. “At least that's less repulsive.” 

“Debatable. But it's what he'll want.” He carried the drinks outside handing the sauce to his brother.

“Thanks…” he said softly sipping it, it didn't seem as though he got as much enjoyment out of it as Red seemed to get from his mustard.

Red sipped at the lemonade, shrugging before guzzling it down. While his brother made a face at him for being so undignified. Edge tried not to glance at the two brothers. He felt sorry for both of them, not that either seemed to be looking for pity. 

Toffee hid a grimace as his brother set his cup aside, he was barely interested in it, despite it being his favorite condiment.

“So, how long have you two lived here?” Toffee asked.

“About six months.” Red said with a shrug. “Ain't so bad. Better than the camps.”

“Yes, so far they are much better.” Toffee agreed with a nod.

“There’s only monsters here which is nice. I don’t much care for humans.” Edge agreed.

“Me either.” Salt said with a nod.

“Well, except for Courier.” Toffee chuckled.

“Courier?” Red asked curiously. “Who’s that?”

“Courier is our human, we adopted them.” Toffee explained. “But for now they are living elsewhere until they get approval to move in with us.” Which they had only gotten because of his brother's limited time.

“Oh! Yeah...our human’s name was Frisk. We haven’t seen ‘em in forever… I hope they’re okay.” Red said grimacing and Edge growled lowly.

Edge was still displeased the humans had snatched the human child away from them. They were deemed ‘too dangerous’ to raise a child, and Fell Toriel herself had taken guardianship of Frisk. Edge supposed there were worse guardians, but still, it stung.

“Courier seems to be older than the other humans that fell down, so they were allowed to choose where they lived.” Toffee told them.

“Yeah, our kid is only eight.” Red said.

“They’re just a baby!” Edge huffed. “And they just took them away!”

“Thought you didn't like humans?” Salt asked.

“...I like one human.” Edge grumbled and Red snickered. 

“Boss is a huge mother hen ta’ Frisk.” Red said with a grin.

“Sounds about right.” Salt glanced at his own brother who huffed.

“Well I hope you'll like Courier, they should be here at the latest in a week's time.” Toffee told them.

“I’m sure they’re tolerable compared to the other humans.” Edge said agreeably. They had to be some kind of variant of Frisk afterall.

“They don't care for other humans.” Toffee sighed softly, but he was glad to have them around. “We should probably get ready to turn in, the sun is already going down.”

“Alright, it was nice meeting you.” Edge said.

“L-later.” Red said giving Salt an awkward wave and causing Edge to hold back a sigh.

“Cya.” Salt grabbed his full cup heading inside while Toffee collected the empty ones.

“Thank you for coming to see us, please come by again.” Toffee smiled.

“We will.” Edge said with a smile and Red nodded sheepishly. Edge and Red made their departure back to their trailer across the street.

Edge turned to Red after their door was shut, sighing softly. “Well it could have gone worse.”

“I- I think it went well.” Red huffed. “Salt seems nice, and so does Toffee.”

“Yes, they're both nice enough.” Edge agreed, how was he going to break to his brother his new crush was falling though?

Red gave a small smile. “Salt, uh, seems really cool.”

“Sans?” Edge said after a few moments, a rare gentleness to his voice. “I need to tell you something important.”

Red hummed, and glanced over Edge, stopping his oncoming ranting and gushing about their new neighbor. “Yeah, Boss?”

He sighed, he wished he didn't have to do this. But it was important he knew, so he could make the most of what little time there was left.

“I talked to Toffee for a while in their trailer earlier...and, Salt, I know you like him a lot but…” Edge looked away.

Red flushed as Edge said he liked Salt a lot. Was it that obvious? Okay he did stalk him just a tiny bit! Still, he felt uneasy, it wasn’t often, if ever, Boss talked this gently.

“He doesn't have much time, he's, he's falling, Sans. They've given him four months...you cannot afford to waste time, if you wish to make the most of what is left.” Edge finally said, his voice lowering.

Red’s face fell and he clenched and unclenched his fists. Salt was. . . falling? “Oh…”

“I'm sorry Sans, I wish...I didn't have to give you news like this. But it was important you knew…” Edge said as he drew Red into an embrace, it had to hurt to hear something like this.

Red sighed and returned the embrace. “Well… this sucks.”

“Yeah...it sucks ass.” Edge agreed. “But, maybe we can make it easier for them?”

“Yeah…” Red said softly, he really liked Salt. He’d never liked someone before, not like this. He never wanted to get to know someone, or been so curious about a monster before. It did hurt to hear he was falling, it wasn’t fair.

“You can't afford to mess around Sans, you know that now.” He said, giving him a squeeze.

“Yeah...I know.” Red said nervously, he liked Salt a lot but he didn’t have much time left. Red didn’t want to make Salt a quick fuck like the others he wanted something more...could he even have something more?

“I'm sure you can find ways to make the last of his time the best that it can be, you are both Sans.” Edge said letting him go.

“Yeah.” Red said, ignoring the pricking at his sockets. Allergies must be coming.

“Let me know if I can help you.” Edge told Red.

“Aight…” Red said. “I… don't wanna rush things, but I kinda have to. I don't know what to do.” Red admitted.

“You could ask him out for coffee?” Edge offered.

“Aight… I’ll try that.” Red said with a nervous smile, his soul still feeling like it was sinking. He wished he could help Salt.

“It's a good starting point.” Edge smiled.

Red nodded, taking a deep breath. He could do this. He wouldn’t freak out or be self pitying.

“I'll do what I can to help you Sans, I can tell that this is important to you.” Edge said softly.

Red nodded some. “Don’t know why I care so much, literally just met him…”

“Who knows.” Edge shrugged. “But, it is what it is. Go on Sans, I'm sure you're tired by now from everything. And no more stalking. Or Toffee will dust you.”

“...He said that?” Red frowned.

“He saw you following him. Salt...just didn't care enough to notice I'm guessing.” He frowned.

“Oh…” Red said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t think he was that obvious!

“Good night Sans. Behave.” He chuckled.

“Aight. I’ll try Boss. Certainly won't stalk Salt with my telescope or anythin’” Red teased. Or at least, he’d try not to.

“For your sake I hope not.” He told him rolling his eyelights.

Red snickered softly, nah, he wouldn’t do it again. Just that one time.

Edge shooed him to his room and went to his own.

Red sighed and went to his room, rubbing his face. He didn’t want to lose his new friend. Friend. Red hardly had friends and the one monster that had caught his interest was fading fast. “Fuck.” he said, falling back onto his bed and staring up at the ceiling.

He didn’t know how to explain it, he felt drawn to Salt. It wasn’t fuckin’ fair. His soul twisted uncomfortably, he shouldn't care so much for a stranger. But he did, and nothing he did seemed to lessen it.

Red sighed taking a deep breath, he’d make the most of it. He felt something for Salt, something he never had for all his other flings. He’d enjoy what he had, something real, for once, even if it was for a short time. With that thought, Red closed his sockets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chaos: I've finally met someone with less social skills than me, and that's Red! Oh, Red. This is not how you approach [someone you like](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36pt6qpLNSE).
> 
> Zion: Sure it is!


	2. Dating Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red asks Salt on a date. Is Red still akward as hell? Oh yes, yes he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 :D Thank you all for the kudos/comments <3 I'm glad this fic got some traffic!

Red was up early, in fact, he was up before Edge, full of nervous energy. He was going to ask Salt out for coffee today, if only the sun would hurry up and rise.

“Why are you up?” Edge demanded when he got up at the crack of dawn.

“Waitin’ for the sun to come up so I can ask Salt out for coffee.” Red said pacing through the living room. Okay, it wasn’t like Salt was dusting today, but still, he wanted to get a move on.

“Really? I'm impressed, you were even up before me.” His brother said as he went about making breakfast for them both. “Better eat so you don't pass out mid date.”

Red flushed some and nodded. “I-it’s not a date just uh, just an outing.”

“Date.” Edge corrected handing him a plate of eggs and pancakes.

Red huffed and grumbled some but he brighted upon looking at the eggs.

“Try not to be a nervous wreck? Or at least act like you're not, even if you are?” Edge said as he sat down.

“I- I don’t act like that!” Red huffed, crossing his arms.

“Yeah ya do.” Edge replied, his accent slipping through in his less than awake state.

Red huffed and crossed his arms, he did not!

"Eat your eggs so you can go on your date.”

“That’s an eggscellent idea, bro.” Red hummed.

“I will let that slide only because you woke up too early.” Edge huffed.

Red snickered softly and began to eat his eggs, with mustard of course. Edge made sure his elder, messy brother was clean and in clean clothes before kicking him out of the trailer.

Red paced back and forth along the road, trying to work up the courage to knock on Salt and Toffee’s door. He could do this, he had to do this! He didn’t have time to waste! Salt could fall any second, okay well not  _ any _ second but soon! 

The door opened and Toffee came out with a trash bag in hand, the taller skeleton gave Red a bemused look.

Red cursed quietly, and hesitantly walked over waving at Toffee. “Hey.”

“Oh, good morning Red. You're up early.” Toffee greeted dropping the bag into the outside dumpster by the road.

“Heh...yeah that's what my bro said too. Mornin’. Yer bro awake yet?” Red said. Shit. Salt was clearly an unswitched Sans, of course he was asleep!

“No he's been up for hours. He's sitting in the kitchen.” Toffee said heading back to the trailer. “Come on then.”

Red blinked in surprise, but quickly followed Toffee inside, looking around their home curiously.

It was clean, and a little sparse. Salt was sitting at the table staring blankly out the window, his breakfast half eaten.

“Hey.” Red greeted sitting across from him.

Salt blinked and snapped out of his trance, he looked over at Red as if surprised to see him. “Oh, hey Red.” He greeted rubbing his face.

“Heya.” Red greeted. “Spacin’ out?”

“Just a little, no place better than with the stars right?” Salt replied.

Toffee stood back, appearing concerned for his brother. As he should.

“Heh, well I apollo-gise for interuptin’ but I wanted to know if you wanted to go grab some coffee down at Muffet’s bakery.” Red said with a wink.

“Uh, sure I guess? Not doing anything.” Salt said with a shrug, he blushed slightly from the wink.

Red grinned showing off his golden tooth. “Great, ready to go?”

“Sure.” He got up and took his plate to the fridge, it had a lot of leftovers. Likely all his, judging by how little he ate. Salt set it inside before closing it and heading over to the door to pull his boots on. Red glanced at Toffee feeling a little concerned himself and Toffee grimaced and shuffled over to Red.

“He doesn't like sweet things, but, maybe you can get him to eat something?” He asked softly. “That's the most he's eaten since we've moved here…”

Red winced. Hadn't they moved in last week!? “I will.” Red promised and he didn't make it lightly.

Red walked over to Salt as he finished putting his boots on. “Ready?” 

Red almost offered a shortcut but he would rather walk and spend time with Salt.

“Yeah, Red-dy to go.” He said opening the door.

Red snickered at the pun. “Good one.” Red stepped out with Salt and they began walking down the winding dirt road towards the bakery. Salt shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked.

"Ya get assigned a job yet?” Red asked.

“No, probably won't.” He said with a shrug. “My bro starts his in a few days.”

Red nodded, that made sense. Why assign a job to someone with limited time? Still it made Red’s soul sink. “I run a hot dog stand.” Red said. “Get to nap a lot, so it's a good gig.”

“Sounds boring though, I don't think I'd like it myself.” Salt said.

“Eh it is boring. But it don’t take a lot of effort.” Red said with a snicker and he opened the door for Salt as they walked into the bakery. Red came to a complete stop, his eyelights shrinking. “Sh-shit! Lets go to Grillby’s instead!” Red said, doing a one eighty and heading back towards the door.

A tall red eyed skeleton was standing at the counter talking with Muffet. His eyelights landed on the retreating skeleton, sockets narrowing. The skeleton had a scar from the bottom of his left socket to his jaw and a reverse scar from the top of his right socket to the top of his skull. 

“Sans.” 

Salt raised a brow at Red and waited since he didn't know the Gaster, he guessed from the red eyelights they might be related? He wasn't sure.

“Oh...hey.” Red sighed, turning shoving his hands in his pockets. The Gaster walked over his red eyelights scanning over Red than Salt. They lingered on Salt for a moment and what looked like a smile tugged at his mandible. 

“Who’s this?” He asked, gesturing to Salt.

“Friend.” Red said shortly.

“Hi.” Salt waved at him. “They call me Salt.”

“Hm. They call me Fell. I’m Red’s father.” Fell introduced himself and Red sighed. 

“We were just leavin’.” Red said.

“But we just got here.” Salt frowned at Red, he looked at Fell and held his hand out. “Nice to meet you.”

Red grimaced, looking as if the executioner himself was standing before him as Fell shook Salt's hand. ”Yeah but the people here are kinda shit.” Red grumbled.

“Don't talk about yourself like that Sans.” Fell said with a smirk and Red growled.

“Papyrus tells me you've been assigned jobs but he didn't tell me what you'll be doing? Working in the labs with Alphys?” Fell asked before glancing at Salt again. At this Red smirked.

“Sellin’ hot dogs.”

“You can't be serious.” Fell deadpanned.

“That's what he told me.” Salt shrugged a bit. “I don't like fire monsters anyways...Muffet's is better.”

“That purple flamin’ bastard still owes me 200G.” Fell grumbled an accent similar to Red's slipping in. “And you! Why the fuck are ya wasting time selling hot dogs!?”

“It's a noble profession.” Red said, his grin widening and he glanced at Salt. “Salt you should come visit me at work sometime ya sure know how to make a weiner stand.” Red winked.

“I-what?” He looked confused.

“You're repulsive.” Fell sighed at Red. “Stop corrupting yer little friend, he don't deserve it.” Fell pulled out an e-cigarette staring at it as if it were disgusting before bringing it to his teeth.

“Uh, yeah I'm gonna go order. What do you want, Red?” Salt asked.

Red glanced at the menu, it was composed of mostly baked goods but Salt didn't like sweets. “I'll come with, we're done here.” Red said, giving his father a pointed look.

Fell snorted. “We ain't done. I want ya to get a real job.”.

“Feeeeell!” Called a voice Fell knew all too well, the towering Gaster it belonged to easily spotting him over all the other monsters.

“Aw, fuck!” Fell cursed.

“What?” Salt paused to look at the monster calling Fell.

Fell looked around for an escape route and Red snickered. “Oh hey Swell! He's over here!” Red called.

"Hush, you little fuck!” Fell hissed at Red but it was too late.

“Hello Red!” Swell greeted, waving at him as he came to Fell's side, he paused to look between the two Sanses then looked at Fell. “You see that, right?”

Fell sighed and squinted at Red and Salt. “Course I do. I wasn't gonna tell ‘em.”

“Tell us what?” Red demanded the two Gasters.

“Fell you should be more careful! We got separated!” Swell scolded, hugging him. “You must be so happy though! Is it because you saw?! I know I would be!”

Fell blushed brightly from the hug. “G-get off! And...I guess it makes me happy.” Fell smiled a little.

“It's a wonderful thing!” Swell agreed, hugging him tighter. “Now, now, Fell! Calm down, you're going to give them the wrong idea!” 

Fell snorted, he wasn't the one who needed to calm down. Red had no idea what the hell they were talking about and frowned at them both before he glanced at Salt and jerked his thumb towards the newest Gaster. “This is Swell, my old man's girlfriend.”

“He is not!” Fell squawked.

“Boyfriend he means.” Swell purred nuzzling Fell before setting him down and adjusting his scarf. “There we go.” 

Salt chuckled at the display, it was cute really. Fell was blushing brightly and he crossed his arms with a huff. 

“What are you two geezers yappin’ about? Happy about what? What do ya see?” Red pressed them for information.

Swell kissed the top of Fell's skull. “Oh yes! I forgot to tell you Red! Slim wanted to see if he could come visit sometime!”

Salt looked over at Red, was Slim a friend of his?

Fell went entirely red and his eyelights disappeared at the public display of affection. Red smirked, sure the old man was internally screaming. “Ya, sure, love to see him.” Red said. Slim was great, his little brother. . . not so much.

“Slim is Swell’s son, a switched Papyrus type.” Red explained to Salt.

“Ah, doubt we've met then. Only met unswapped Paps.” He hummed watching.

“He’s cool, will have to introduce ya.” Red said.

“Sure I guess.” He shrugged. “We gonna get coffee or?”

Swell was cuddling Fell again.

“Ya let's leave the two love birds to it.” Red said with a snicker.

“Get a real job before I kick yer fuckin’ ass!” Fell yelled after them as they walked away.

“Now Fell, that is no way to talk to your son. Let him do what makes him happy. Don't be such a weenie.” Swell scolded.

“I'm gonna kick yer ass too.” Fell grumbled squinting at Swell.

“Promise?” Swell giggled.

Fell flushed covering his face and Red cackled making his way over to the counter with Salt.

“Well, that happened. Whatcha want?”

He squinted at the menu, he rubbed at his left socket before shrugging. “Probably a black coffee.”

“Aight. One black coffee and one hazelnut coffee extra extra. Oh and one of those egg pizza abominations.” Red said turning to the Muffet behind the counter.

“You mean the frittata?” She asked, blinking four of her five eyes. The other one was milky and was that a robotic arm?

“Ya. Not a slice either. Whole pie.” Red said.

“Your magic - ecto is it? Is probably very fat.” She said, shrugging and Salt snorted. “But if you insist.”

“That's my world's Muffet.” Salt said as she walked away to fill the order.

Red scowled after her looking sour. “She's about as friendly as mine. Neither should work customer service.”

“And yet here they are.” He replied as she brought everything back.

“Twelve gold.” She told Red.

Red slid the gold over to her glaring the entire time before taking his coffee and the frittata. He waited for Salt to grab his. “Where ya wanna sit?”

She took the gold and didn't seem to care what look he gave her. Salt grabbed his coffee and looked around before picking the most secluded booth he could find.

Red joined him and put the frittata between them and began to drink his coffee. “Damn that's good.”

Salt sipped at his own. “Not bad.” He hummed. “Why'd you get a whole pie?”

Red was still a little sour Muffet had called him fat, but the pie had been a tactic to get Salt to eat. He had been going to feign to try and eat it himself and not be able to eat it all, and ask Salt to help him finish it, but now he didn’t want Salt to think he was a fat ass too.

“Thought we’d share it. Toffee said ya like healthy shit.” Red said.

“Did you forget to eat?” He frowned slightly.

Red tilted his skull,  _ no but you did. _ He thought. “I’m starvin’.” Red answered vaguely. 

“Oh, okay.” Salt shrugged a bit. “Guess I can try it.”

Red began to eat and was happy he got Salt to dig in too. He picked a little but ate an entire slice, more than he’d eaten at breakfast.   
  
“It’s pretty good.” Salt said afterwards, looking out the window. His left eyelight appeared to be fractured, and looked almost like it was flickering.

“Yeah guess spiders are good cooks.” Red said with a smile. He wondered if Salt's eyelight was a good sign or a bad one?

“I guess so? Haven’t really eaten much other than what my bro cooks.” He replied rubbing his face, he looked exhausted. “So, how come you wanted to go for coffee anyways?”

He couldn't figure Red out, they'd only just met yesterday and now they were out for coffee. But what he didn't get most of all, was that he'd even said yes to it. If Edge had asked he'd have said no flat out.

Red blushed looking away. “I… well. Cuz I wanted to get ta know ya better.”

“Fair enough.” Salt couldn't understand why, he'd tried not to be interesting to anyone. Why make friends when you were going to dust anyways? He already felt bad for the pain he was sure it would cause Red later, he seemed like a nice guy.

Red hummed looking Salt over. “Honestly, I kinda like ya.”

“Huh?” Salt blinked, turning to look at Red again.

“I like ya.” Red said blushing slightly. 

Salt frowned a little, his own cheekbones flushing when Red's did. He hadn't expected that. “Uh...I uh, I'm flattered Red but...I…” he looked down. “You'd be wasting your time on me…”

“Ya...I don’t really think that. Yer bro… already told me ya don’t have much time. Where I come from, every day could be yer last, it was so dangerous. I’m used ta livin’ hard...and fast, because it always felt like there might be no tomorrow, for me or my bro.” Red explained.

“Yeah...I, I get that but…” Salt grimaced. “Is it even worth it…when you know you're going to get hurt…?”

“Yeah. I’m always gonna get hurt. One day Boss’ll die. Don’t mean I'm gonna cut him out of my life to save myself the pain. Ya he’s young an’ healthy but...everyday I felt like it could be his last. A few times it almost was. We got lucky. So… to me, well, time is just the distance between hurt, it's gonna happen either way. Why short myself, while I still have the time?” Red said.

Salt was quiet for a while, taking Red's words into consideration. He guessed he had a point, he still felt guilty for it himself. But…

“I-I guess you have a point.” He murmured finally, looking down into the coffee cup clasped between his hands.

“Besides, I was serious about the weiner stand.” Red said with a wink. 

“I don't know what hot dogs have to do with this.” He frowned.

“Hmm…It was a dirty joke.” Red said grinning. Salt stared at him for a while before his skull flushed brightly as it dawned on him. Part of his face vanished into his coat collar.

“Holy shit.” Red said and he chuckled softly. “Sorry Sweetheart, didn’t mean to embarrass ya  _ that _ much.” Red winked. Salt mumbled something but his collar blocked out what he'd said, he shook his head a bit. He didn't know Red was so lewd!

Red snickered softly, enjoying watching the shy little skeleton blush. Salt mumbled something again looking away.

“Wow ya can light up a room.” Red snickered.

Salt huffed and crossed his arms, stupid lewd skeleton! Why did he even like Red?

“I'm just teasin’ relax.” Red said with a smile. “Be right back gonna get a to-go box for the egg thing.”

Red walked over to the counter. “Hey-”

“Do not tell me you are ordering more food.” Mania Muffet deadpanned. Red scowled up at her, clenching his fists.

“What!? No! I need a box fer it!” Red grumbled, clearly annoyed. “It wasn't even fer me ya know.”

Muffet snickered before grabbing a to-go box and sliding it over. “Mmhm.”

“It's for Salt, he ain't fuckin eatin an his bro asked me ta help.” He said taking the box.

The spider's eyes flickered over to Salt, then back to Red. “Interesting.” Muffet leaned forward, a smile tugging at her lips. 

“Maybe it’s because no one is offering what he really wants.” Muffet said, her voice quiet.

“An what's that?” Red huffed at her, his sockets narrowed, how would she even know? It didn't seem like they were friends.

“He wants-”

“Muffet!” As if from nowhere Toffee was at Red's elbow giving her what could only be the evil eye.

Muffet immediately backed off, her dark cheeks flushing a grey. “Well hello Papyrus~” She all but purred, her four good eyes brightening.

“You will not ruin my brother's name here Muffet!” He growled unamused, crossing his arms.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, dearie!” Muffet gasped looking genuinely distraught.

“I don't believe you. Now shoo.” He hissed at her.

Muffet all but pouted but obeyed, busying herself with cleaning up behind the counter. Red just raised a brow bone and shrugged.

“What a bitch.” Red grumbled. 

“Sorry Red, I didn't mean to intrude. I was just worried.” He sighed. “I thought my brother might sneak off without you. He's done it before, but I'm glad to see that he hasn't.”

Red glanced over to Salt who was still at the table looking puzzled at a bottle of mustard Red had poured some of the contents onto his piece of frittata. Red smiled. “Heh… he’s great, ain’t he?”

Toffee smiled at Red, he was glad someone else thought so, too. “I'm glad he's found a friend.”

Red smiled some, glancing at Salt again. “He deserves it.”

“I'm going to head back before he sees me. He seems. . . happy.” Toffee said giving Red's shoulder a squeeze. “Thank you.”

“ ‘Course.” Red said softly and he watched Toffee go. He walked back to the table with the to-go box. “Eyein’ my mustard?” Red teased as he boxed up the remaining food.

Salt looked up at him, the bottle in hand. “Yeah, right, you can keep it.” He snorted holding it out to Red.

“Heh!” Red grinned, swiping the mustard and putting it in the to-go box with the frittata and he winked.

Salt blushed lightly again and got up from the booth with his half gone coffee. “So…now what?”

“Good question.” Red said. Hw could introduce Salt to Slim but he kinda didn't wanna share. “Ya ever been down to the old railroad tracks?”

“No, I don't go very far from the trailer.” He shook his head.

“Wanna check'em out? They're abandoned. Humans don't use em anymore.” Red asked.

“Uh, sure?” Salt shrugged a bit, it could be fun.

Swell popped up with Fell on his arm, out of no where causing Red to jump back.

“Red!” He called waving.

“Hey?” Red said and he smirked at Fell who was blushing and looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but there.

“I guess he felt a tingle because we were talking about him, but Slim is here! You should introduce them!” He said happily.

Red tried to hide his displeasure, what If Salt liked Slim more than him? “Aight. Wanna meet Slim? He's swell.” Red winked and Fell groaned at the pun.

“Not as swell as I.” Swell snickered. “Ah, there he is!” He pointed to a very tall Papyrus in a black hoodie.

“He's a good friend, Swell's oldest.” Red said leading Salt towards Slim.

Slim was leaning forward whispering something to Mania Muffet who looked completely flustered, a very different look for the spider who had been indifferent, short, and rude earlier.

“Hey, Slim. Stop harassin’ the employees.” Red snickered.

Salt looked up at the tall monster, geez did they get irradiated or something? “You're fuckin tall.”

Slim turned and looked down at Salt and smiled. “Small.” He hummed.

“I am not. You're a mutant.” Salt huffed at him.

“No, you're small.” Slim snickered.

“Yer a fuckin’ mutant. And so's yer bro. Tallest Sans I've ever met.” Red huffed.

“You're small too, Cherry.” Slim teased.

“Anyways. We were leavin.” Red said.

“That so?” Slim asked his golden eyes looking Salt over. He was even smaller than the smallest Muffet. How cute.

“Yeah.” Salt said raising a brow at Slim, what was that look for?

“What's Edge doing here? Didn't think he liked sweets?” Slim hummed.

Red turned to look and Slim picked Salt up as if he were a child.

“Thanks~ This is mine now.” Slim winked.

“H-hey! I did not consent to this!” Salt yelped struggling in Slim's arms.

“Put him down ya giant asshole!” Red growled.

“Nah.” Slim smirked down at Red, who growled and kicked him in the shin.

“I don't think kidnapping is usually consensual.” Slim mused ignoring Red.

“Put me down!” Salt growled at Slim.

“Nope.” Slim said and he was about to step into a shortcut.

“Don’t ya fuckin’ dare!” Red growled grabbing onto Slim’s arm before promptly biting him.

“OW!” Slim squawked. 

“What is going on over here?” Swell asked walking over with Fell. Fell gave Red an unimpressed look, as Red still had his fangs deep in Slim’s wrist bone. Red huffed and let go, he wasn't usually a biter but, he felt like he had to protect Salt.

“He won't put me down!” Salt exclaimed, still struggling like a small wild animal.

“Not a reason to bite people.” Fell grumbled looking at Red who flipped him off.

“He's trying to kidnap me you fucking prick!” He snarled.

“Papyrus, put him down.” Swell scolded and Slim huffed. 

“But he’s so small!” Slim actually whined. 

Red growled and punched Slim in the side and Slim hissed before putting Salt down. That one had hurt! Salt put space between himself and Slim as soon as he was put down, and Red between them.

“Good, now apologize for trying to steal Red's little friend.” He continued.

Slim made a face and Red huffed at Slim before looking Salt over.

“Ya okay?” Red asked.

“Yeah I'm okay. I just don't like being picked up.” He said crossing his arms.

“Papyrus.” Swell warned.

“Sorry Salt.” Slim said quickly. “I wasn’t trying to upset you…”

“No, just tryin’ to kidnap him!” Red said giving him one last kick for good measure.

“Ow!” Slim whined, jumping back. “It was for his benefit!” 

“M-my benefit?! How?!” Salt demanded not coming out from behind Red. Red huffed and crossed his arms, glaring at Slim. 

“You’re so small I was going to take you away and protect you!” Slim explained.

“I don't need protecting!” He huffed at Slim.

“Ya fuckin’ ass!” Red squinted shaking his skull at Slim. “He’s fine!”

Salt grumbled, staying against Red's back, much to the other Sans’s pleasure.

“That’s not how you make friends Papy.” Swell sighed. 

“Can we go now?” Salt asked.

“Yeah, come on.” Red said, giving Slim the evil eye.

“See ya later, Salt~” Slim purred and Red growled.

Slim waited for Red and Salt to head out, before walking over to his dad and Fell. “So whose Red’s new friend?”

“Neighbor, lives across the street from him.” Fell said. 

“It’s so cute.” Swell said happily.

“Mm.” Slim hummed softly, he knew where Red lived. Slim smirked to himself. Well then. He’d just wait until Salt came home to kidnap- rescue him.

Slim took a shortcut to the Fell brothers trailer and made his way across the street, scoping the mania brothers trailer out. After a while a Papyrus who could only be Salt's brother came out and started sweeping the sidewalk.

He was the smallest Papyrus Slim had ever seen! He was even more adorable then the tiny Sans had been! He had to be around Razz’s height, or even smaller! Slim watched him silently for a while. Salt seemed safe with Red, but who would defend this small bean? It didn't seem like he had any friends, he needed companionship too.

Slim walked over and smirked down at the little Papyrus. “Hey.” He said.

Toffee looked up at Slim and smiled. “Have you decided to stop staring so rudely?” He asked.

Slim blinked at the bluntness of the little skeleton and grinned. “Yeah.” 

“Can I help you? I don't think you live around here.” Toffee said as he finished sweeping.

“Nah I don’t. I mean, I’m at least four blocks away.” Slim shrugged. “But ya, you can help me.” Slim said before promptly picking Toffee up. _ His. _

“Excuse you, put me down you heathen!” Toffee told him sternly, almost as stern as his own father.

Slim smirked. “Nah.” Slim stepped into a shortcut, the two landing at Slim’s hideaway down by the river. There was a small wooden shack, a bean bag chair by the water tank and an ashtray. Hideaway sweet hideaway.

Toffee elbowed him hard in the ribs, unamused by his antics. Slim grunted, but otherwise seemed unaffected.

“You will take me home this instant!” Toffee told him.

“Nah.” Slim drawled, holding the stern skeleton close against him. “Mine now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slim's not a bad guy, he just has really, _really_ poor judgement and ways about doing things. 
> 
> At least [Salt and Red](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4_woZ-LUvM) are getting along!


	3. A Bad Dog and a Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slim hounds Toffee while Salt and Red have a tasty lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slim cannot be held responsible for his actions when small skeletons are involved!

“You need to take me home! You don't know what you've done!” Toffee protested.

“Whatdya mean?” Slim asked. “Why ya gotta be there?” Slim walked over towards the water.

“I have to be home when my brother gets there!” Toffee told him, still struggling.

“Hmm.” Slim hummed, ignoring his struggling. He always did want to rock a trailer.

“I mean it! He can't be by himself!” His tone had turned frantic. It bothered Slim in a way he was unused to.

“Alright, alright.” Slim shortcut them inside the trailer. “See? It’s fine.”

“Now put me down.” He huffed. “I have things to do you know.”

“Oh don’t worry, I have plans.” Slim purred carrying Toffee through the trailer looking for a bedroom. He found both but, which belonged to who? Both were neat and clean.

“I have housework to do, I have no time for whatever it is you're thinking.” He smacked him on the skull.

“You’re way too wound up, ya need to relax.” Slim said and he smirked opening the door to what must be Toffee’s room judging by the small Toffee sized bed.

“Well being grabbed and carried around like this by a stranger would upset anyone.” Toffee growled.

“You were wound up before I did that.” Slim said before pushing Toffee on his bed. Toffee narrowed his sockets at Slim and got back up.

“Well you didn't help matters.”

“I’m about to.” Slim said with a smirk.

“By leaving?” Toffee suggested pushing Slim out of his room.

“Hey!” Slim cried out in surprise. 

“I don't want to hear it, you're in my house.” Toffee pushed him all the way to the living room. Toffee was Slim’s skeleton, because Slim had decided so, so Toffee was hereby overruled. Slim raised a brow bone at the little skeleton. He certainly was strong, but oh so tense. Slim could work some kinks out of his bones. Slim pounced, pinning the little skeleton beneath him, straddling his waist.

Toffee yelped as he was suddenly pounced on. “Get off!”

Slim let out an animalistic growl, and leaned forward face centimeters away from Toffee. He huffed but got off squinting at Toffee. “I thought we were gonna fuck?”

“Excuse you?!” Toffee flushed bright bright pink. “I have not consented to such a thing! I don't even know you! What made you think that?!”

“The way ya were wiggling.” Slim said with a frown. “Heh. Guess I read this situation wrong.”

“Clearly. And of course I wiggled! You picked me up and took me!” Toffee huffed.

“I’m Slim, what’s your name?” Slim asked, taking a seat on Toffee and Salt’s couch.

“Toffee and I didn't say you could stay!” He huffed again squinting at Slim.

“Ya didn’t say I had to leave.” Slim said with a smirk.

“And if I do?” He asked.

“Guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Slim said, winking as he sank further into the couch.

“Stay out of my way while I clean then.” He told Slim as he started doing house work.

Slim grinned wide as he was not kicked out. He propped his feet up on the coffee table. “How long ya been living here? You must be new, I’d have noticed someone like you walking around.”

His feet were shoved off. “Rude, you will behave or I will have you removed.” He told Slim. “A week.”

Slim raised a single brow bone. “Yes sir.” He said innocently. He was going to have Toffee screaming his name. This was his new life goal. 

“So why did you even come here in the first place?” Toffee asked as he dusted.

“Well, I met your bro, and tried to take him. Red threw a hissy fit and bit me. So I was scouting outside your trailer waiting for them, but then I saw you.” Slim answered honestly.

“What is wrong with you?” Toffee demanded turning to stare at him, hands on his hips.

“The list of what's right is shorter.” Slim said with a wink.

He sighed at the other. “So what was all of this about?”

“All what?” Slim asked, cocking his skull to the side.

“Picking my brother up, picking me up, why?” Toffee demanded, poking him in the skull with his feather duster.

“You're small.” Slim said and he snickered. “Wanted to protect ya.”

“I don’t need protecting. And Salt was already with Red.” He frowned.

“Red is feisty.” Slim admitted. “But he has uh...challenges.” Slim shrugged.

“This isn’t the underground. It’s not nearly as deadly.” Toffee retorted. “Don’t bother my brother.”

“Kay, I’ll bother you.” Slim winked.

“Why?” He huffed at Slim, blushing a bit.

“You’re cute.” Slim said leaning forward. “And I like how pink your cheeks get when I flirt.”

Toffee bapped him with the duster when he learned forward, flushing more. Slim chuckled softly, grinning, his golden canine flashing. “You’d look good in a little maid outfit.”

“E-excuse you?!” Now his skull was entirely pink.

“Yeah, a nice black lacy one, with a little frilly white apron.” Slim said with a smile.

“I would not in no such thing!” Toffee scoffed.

“Shame, it’d go well with the duster and your pretty pink cheeks.” Slim said with a smirk.

He got bapped with the duster yet again. “You best get those ideas out of your skull!”

Slim giggled and raised a brow bone at Toffee. “Or what?”

“I already told you that if you don’t behave I’ll have you removed!” Toffee reminded him.

“Me? I’m behaving! Haven’t picked you up or anything.” Slim purred.

“You are being lewd and suggestive!” Toffee grumbled at him.

“Sorry. Guess I just have a _ Toff  _ time not thinking those thoughts around someone like you.” Slim grinned.

Toffee squawked from the pun and gave Slim the evil eye. “No puns!”

“Heh. I shoulda known you didn’t like puns.” Slim snickered. “I’ll try not to.”

“I should throw you out just for that.” Toffee said narrowing his sockets at Slim.

“I’m pretty heavy.” Slim said slumping into the couch further.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Toffee demanded.

“Well it might be hard to throw me out.” Slim explained.

“I have magic, what’s your point?” Toffee rolled his eyelights.

“Hmm, gonna show me your magic, hot stuff?” Slim purred.

“Not like that you pervert!” He got bapped several times now.

Slim giggled softly and grinned. “Well you shoulda been more specific.”

“Stop being so lewd!” Toffee told him.

“Okay, okay.” Slim snickered. “Sorry.”

Toffee grumbled and went back to cleaning like he had just been doing before Slim started being a pervert.

Slim watched him appreciatively for a while before humming. “Met any of the residents yet?”

“Edge, Red, and Blue and Stretch.” Toffee replied.

“Hm, don’t know Blue and Stretch, but I know the Fells.” Slim mused. “How ya liking the neighborhood? It’s pretty safe, but got some toff monsters.” 

He squinted at Slim. “It’s been fine.”

Slim smiled innocently. “Good!”

“Please don’t interfere with Red and my brother, I want him to be happy.” He told Slim.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Slim said. “Red’s a good guy. I didn’t know they had a thing going on, thought they were just friends or I -...probably...wouldn't have tried to kidnap him.” Slim mused. He couldn’t say for certain.

“They don’t, but Red wants to try. While he’s still here.” Toffee said quietly.

Slim sobered immediately, a frown taking over his smile. “Oh.” Fuck. He was such an asshole.

“He seems to like Red, so... I’m hoping he can be happy for once.” Toffee put the duster away and headed into the kitchen.

Slim followed and sat at the kitchen table. “I won’t interrupt them, I promise.” Slim didn’t make promises lightly.

“I would appreciate that.” He said as he began cooking lunch, hoping his brother would eat.

“Course.” Slim said watching Toffee cook.

“I’m sure they’ll get back when lunch is Red-y.” Slim hummed.

“One more pun and I’m kicking you out.” He told him.

Slim pouted. “Fiiiiine.”

“Are you hungry?” He asked Slim.

Slim looked surprised. “Uh...a little. B-but you don’t have to feed me.”

“Then you’re eating.” Toffee informed him just as the door opened.

“So a naked skeleton walks into a bar, carrying a poodle under one arm and a six foot salami under the other. The Bartender says, ‘So, I don’t suppose you’d be needing a drink?’ The skeleton says-” Red paused mid joke to squint at Slim.

“Oh hey guys. What took ya so long?” Slim waved lazily from the table.

Salt blinked seeing Slim sitting at his kitchen table. What the hell?!

“Oh good, I just finished making lunch.” Toffee smiled at the two of them.

“Oh, thanks Toffee.” Red said before glaring at Slim. “What are ya doing here!”

“I met Salt’s brother.” Slim said, not answering. “His name’s Toffee.”

“I know his name! I just said it!” Red facepalmed.

Salt sighed watching the two of them, Toffee raised a bone brow. “Red? Should we invite your brother as well?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure Boss’ll like that.” Red mused. Toffee glanced at Slim and sighed. Slim surely had a brother.

“And maybe your brother?” Toffee asked.

“NO!” Both Red and Slim said their sockets going wide.

Toffee blinked from the very immediate no from the both of them. “Uh, alright?” He texted Edge to join them.

“I mean, no, please.” Slim said looking embarrassed about his reaction. “Sans...doesn't do well with strangers.”

“Razz doesn’t do well with anyone.” Red huffed. Edge texted back, saying he’d be over shortly.

“Edge will be here soon.” Toffee said and started laying out plates and utensils. Salt sat at a plate that didn't have any.

Red noticed but he didn’t say anything and Slim slowly ran his fingers along the fork, and gave Toffee a very suggestive look. 

Toffee ignored Slim in favor of pouring everyone drinks, mustard for Red, hot sauce for his brother, and juice for him, Slim and Edge.

“Thanks Toffee.” Red said beaming, so far things were going great with Salt. 

“Thanks." Slim said, there was a knock on the door signaling Edge's arrival.

“Come in Edge!” Toffee called.

Edge came in and took the empty seat looking pleased at Red and Salt. He had been worried Red would be lewd and rude on their date, but both Sanses were looking happy.

“I didn't know you knew Toffee and Salt, Slim.” Edge said after greeting everyone.

“He didn't.” Red told his brother. “He barged in.”

“He tried to kidnap me.” Salt grumbled looking displeased.

“Me as well.” Toffee glared at Slim.

Edge raised a single brow bone at Slim who was the picture of innocence, sipping his juice. “Slim.” Edge said looking unimpressed.

“It was for a good cause!” Slim said.

“And that is?” Edge asked.

“Protecting small skeletons.” Slim said firmly.

“The only thing they need protection from is you.” Edge said scoffing.

“Not true!” Slim huffed looking offended. “They're just so smol and cute.” Slim said and Red squinted. Salt didn't look amused and Toffee gave Slim a look.

“I don't think they agree.” Edge snorted as Toffee served them all lunch, and bapped Slim who's hand was reaching for his pelvic bone.

Slim pouted at Toffee and began to eat. “I'll stop kidnapping small skeletons, fair?”

“What's the catch?” Edge asked as he began to eat and much to Toffee's delight, so did his brother. He would have to thank Red later, his brother was eating! He was so grateful he felt like he could cry, but he swallowed that down and ate instead.

“Gotta be friends with me.” Slim said with a grin. He placed a hand on Toffee’s thigh. 

“Red is already your friend.” Edge frowned at him. Toffee pinched his hand until he removed it.

“Ah!” Slim yipped. “Well I didn't try to kidnap Red, now did I?”

“What's yer issue?” Red asked, raising a brow as he yelped.

“Ya know me, I'm clumsy.” Slim shrugged, it wasn't a lie it was just misleading.

“So Red. What are you doing after this?” Toffee asked.

“Not sure.” Red said thoughtfully.

“I might lay down.” Salt murmured tiredly, he'd walked so much today with Red. He didn't have the energy he used to, his brother nodded.

“I think a nap may do you well, brother.” Toffee agreed.

“Mm a nap sounds good.” Slim mused thoroughly planning to nap on Toffee's bed. Edge rolled his eyelights at Slim.

“How was work boss?” Red asked and Edge made a face.

“I'll tell you about it later.” He grumbled at Red, but his malice wasn't aimed at his brother. Toffee hummed softly.

“Where do you work, Edge?” Toffee asked.

“I work at the monster embassy, guarding the monster kings and queens of each respective universe. At least the ones who are still alive and who are allowed to be at the embassy.” Edge said thoughtfully.

Slim made a face. “I still don’t understand how in the hell Underfell’s king and Swapfell’s queen were allowed to still speak for their people.” 

Red shrugged and Edge shook his head. “Because Undertale’s king is a fool.” 

“I see, it sounds like a full time job.” Toffee mused. Salt hummed softly, he couldn't imagine himself around so many monsters.

“Yeah.” Edge sighed. “Some of the monsters are surprisingly. . . soft. It makes for a lot of chaos.”

“I'm not sure where I'll be assigned myself.” Toffee admitted.

“I’m selling’ hot dogs.” Red said cheerfully. “Ran into dad. He wasn’t happy about that.” 

“No, I’d imagine he wasn’t.” Edge said.

“Salt make your weiner stand?” Slim asked.

  
“Already told that one.” Red huffed as Salt flushed and Toffee rolled his eyelights.

“Slim no more puns, it's like you want to be kicked out.” Toffee told him.

“I really just want to see how hard you kick.” Slim said and Edge scoffed. Why was Slim even here?

“I think they were considering the embassy so maybe we'll be working together, Edge.” Toffee mused thoughtfully. Salt nodded slightly, that could be good for his brother. He'd already have a friend there, perfect if you asked him.

“Yeah, might take some of the load off Edge.” Salt agreed.

“That'd be nice. Only ones helping are the Undynes and swap Alphyses and they're…challenging.” Edge sighed. He mostly found them putting each other in headlocks and bickering rather than protecting their leaders.

“I should find out tomorrow.” Toffee said brightly, he was in a good mood. Which was mostly the reason Slim was still even in the trailer with them. Or else he would have thrown him out already, but it was hard to be mad when his brother looked so happy.

“That will be good. I could use you.” Edge said with a smile.

“Could use ya too.” Slim purred.

“Where do ya work anyway Slim?” Edge asked, completely missing the innuendo.

Slim made a face. “Judge.” 

“...Wait.” Red said sockets widening almost comically. “All the fuckin’ judges lost their jobs but  _ two _ ! Cuz it didn't make sense to have so many - please, for the love of stars, do not tell me you are one of the only judges for all the monsters?” Red asked, looking horrified.

“Yep.” Slim shrugged. 

“Then who's the other judge?” Toffee asked with a frown, ignoring his previous comment.

“Undertale Sans. He got to keep his name.” Slim huffed.

“What an ass.” Red grumbled.

“I think they need to find another judge.” Toffee said squinting at Slim.

“I know what you mean, I don’t think the little Undertale Sans knows what to do with some of the crimes the horror and fellverse monsters have done.” Slim said.

“He was talking about you ya asshole.” Red huffed. 

“Oh?” Slim pouted. “I’m a great judge!”

“Now I'm thinking they need two judges.” Toffee frowned.

“The tale one probably is too soft and Slim an idiot, so ya.” Red agreed.

“They're looking for an executioner but apparently no one wants the job.” Edge shrugged. 

“It's more then that. A judge and executioner are appointed. It’s not much of a choice so much as a, uh, calling.” Red said.

“Well whoever appointed Slim is a dumbass.” Edge huffed. 

“Regardless, I think they need another.” Toffee sighed, shaking his head. He was an executioner but his judge was asleep, and bound to fall.

Slim huffed. “I'm a great judge.” Slim grumbled.

“And I'm the fucking queen of the underground.” Red rolled his eyelights.

“I'm sure you'd look great in a skirt.” Salt snorted rubbing his sockets, he stifled a yawn.

Red gasped and blushed brightly. “Sh-shut up!”

“Make me.” Salt yawned.

Red huffed crossing his arms and Edge chuckled.

“Okay brother I think it's time for your nap.” Toffee chuckled softly clearing the table, Salt nodded before slipping out of his chair.

“See ya later Salt. Thanks for hanging out.” Red said.

“He means thanks for the date.” Slim murmured sleepily from the table.

Salt blushed and nodded a bit. “Y-yeah...uh, thanks Red...it was nice.” He said softly before retreating to his room.

Red blushed deeply and gave Slim the evil eye.

“Thanks for lunch Toffee we'd better get going.” Edge said as Slim nodded off.

“Can you take that with you too?” He asked, pointing at Slim. “And of course, it was a pleasure having you.”

“Ew! Don't make me touch it.” Edge said as Slim began to snore.

“Slim! Get yer ass up!” Red yelled. Slim didn't so much as twitch. 

“You have to shriek and sound like his brother.” Edge suggested.

“I'm not shrieking, Salt just went to bed.” Red frowned.

Toffee sighed heavily. “Can you at least put him on the couch? He can't stay at the table.”

Edge prodded Slim. When Slim didn't stir, he sighed and picked him up carrying him to Toffee's couch, the fucking giant.

Toffee turned to Red while Edge did that. “Thank you Red, I'm glad that he's enjoying his time with you.”

Red blushed at that. “Well I'm enjoyin’ time with him too.”

“I know, but it means everything to me. I was worried he'd spend his last few months all alone.” He frowned.

“That ain't gonna happen.” Red said firmly. “Don't worry. I'm hoping to make it the best few months either of us ever have.”

Toffee smiled at him. “Thank you.” He hugged Red tightly, it really did mean the world to him that his brother was happy even if for a short time.

Red smiled and hugged Toffee back. “I know we just met but I care about him ya know?” Red said.

“I know Red, though, it's too bad you didn't come a week ago.” He said releasing him as Edge joined them.

“I suppose I shouldn't a’ stalled.” Red admitted.

“He's on your couch. All joking aside, I'm surprised he hasn't woken up.” Edge said a little worried l for his potential step brother. Stars, what did the two Gasters see in each other?

“Thank you Edge, I appreciate it. I'll let you know if I'll be working with you or not soon enough.” He smiled.

“Alright, hope you do!” Edge said. “Come on, Runt.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Red huffed.

“I'll see you both later.” Toffee said as he showed them out before heading to his own room.

“Well, how’d the date go?” Edge asked as soon as they got home. Red blushed but smiled at the same time.

“Good I take it?” Edge said with a smile. He was happy his brother was happy, it was a rare thing. “I want details though Sans.” He teased sitting down on the couch with Red.

“Course ya do.” Red huffed taking a seat. “Well, first we went to Muffet’s. Ran into dad and Swell. That was a shit show as ya can imagine. Then we got alone and made some puns and ate. Then we ran into Slim who tried to kidnap him.” Red huffed. “I bit him.” Red sounded proud.

“Good, he deserved it.” Edge snorted.

Red’s eyes lit up. “Then we went down to the railroad tracks, and we talked a lot. Told some jokes. We found a hurt rabbit. Not a monster, just a little rabbit so I uh… I healed it, and he smiled at me… and uh, then we went down to the pond!”

Edge listened quietly to his brother, smiling as his eyelights lit up when he mentioned Salt and the things they did together. He hadn't seen his brother happy in, well maybe ever. He was glad that this seemed to be working out for them. Now he just wished they had more time.

“That's great Sans.” Edge said truly meaning it.

“Ya...so what happened at work?” Red asked.

Edge's smile vanished and he scowled. “Some asshole keeps putting fake parking tickets on my motorcycle!”

“What?” Red asked and snorted. “Seriously!?”

“It gets even worse! There's always some kind of pun written on them!” Edge squawked indignantly.

Red cackled despite himself. “That’s terrible, Bro.” Red snickered trying to hide his amusement. “I wonder who would do such a thing.”

“I don't know! But when I find’em I'm gonna wring their neck!” Edge exclaimed.

Red snickered. “Good.”

“...Is it you Sans!?” Edge demanded. 

“No! I was with Salt all day!” Red huffed.

“...This is true. It sounds like you were too busy to do that.” Edge mused.

“I was, but it’s fuckin’ hilarious.” Red snickered.

“It is not!” Edge huffed. “You didn't ask him to fuck did you?”

“Of course not!” Red gasped blushing brighty. “I’m not a heathen, Boss!”

“Yes you are.” He snorted. “And you know you are.”

“Okay, well, I behaved this time.” Red huffed.

“Good, I'm glad you did. Since it seems like Slim isn't going to.” He frowned. “I know he's a hound but, he doesn't usually push like that. It's so unlike him.”

“I’m not sure what’s wrong with him. I’ve never seen him that pushy. Not even with his Muffet.” Red said matching his brother’s frown. “Don’t usually sleep like that either. Unless it's a prank.”

“Uh, Sans?”

“Hm?” Red asked.

“We left them alone, with Slim.” Edge told him. “Should we be worried?”

“No! I mean...Slim would never hurt ‘em.” Red said.

“Well I would have said Slim would never kidnap someone before today.” Edge said. “Should we check just to be safe?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, leaving them with [Slim](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=963iCYoONF0) was probably a baaad idea. Slim's a pretty bad dog but he has good intentions.


End file.
